Connected.

SIR, CAN YOU UNPLUG THE CABLE AND PUT IT BACK? wire connected rightly, SO...YOU'VE RECONNECTED IT? yes it plug up. OKAY.

Powerage.

We had a powerage out, what to do? UH, NOTHING, THE POWER IS OUT. WE NEED TO WAIT UNTIL POWER IS RESTORED TO TROUBLESHOOT.

Off.

I don't see anything, I off the machine. WELL, YOU WON'T SEE ANYTHING IF THE DEVICE IS OFF SIR.

Where there's smoke...

Mgr - theres smoke coming out of my sandwhich case, should i call the fire dept? UH, YEAH, I WOULD UNPLUG IT IF YOU'RE SEEING SMOKE!

Translations.

1. enjoy for your day sir = HAVE A NICE DAY.
2. let's see work, yes or no? = SHOULD I ATTEMPT TO LOGIN NOW?
3. will know, working yes or no? = WILL YOU BE ABLE TO SEE MY SCREEN?

Uh, Hello!

DOES THE MACHINE SHOW THE DATE & TIME ON THE SCREEN? No, it shows that it's May 1st and 11:28am, UH...THAT'S THE DATE AND TIME MAM.

Offline.

Uh, outside at the registers it says that the computer is offline, AS IT SHOULD SIR, WE ARE IN THE PROCESS OF REBOOTING IT, oh...DOH!

Working or not?

You did a software update and now my store doesn't work!  YOUR STORE DOESN'T WORK?  Yeah my registers don't work at all.  WHAT DOES IT SHOW ON YOUR REGISTERS?  the registers are working!  YOU JUST SAID YOUR REGISTERS WERE NOT WORKING?  you broke my store!  (caller hung up).

Do you hear that?

UH, SIR, WHAT'S THAT BEEPING SOUND IN THE BACKGROUND? I don't hear any beeping...SIR, YOUR COMPUTER OR YOUR UPS IS BEEPING...I don't hear anything beeping, SIR, WHAT DO YOU SEE ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN RIGHT NOW, it says it can't detect the hard drive, OKAY, CAN YOU POWER IT OFF USING THE BUTTON, (as customer leans over to power off) oh, I hear the computer beeping, UH, YEAH, I KNOW.

You call me?

WE NEED TO CONFIGURE THE DEVICES, WHICH NUMBER IS THIS? no, no number, UH, OKAY...PRESS * * *, no, no, not working, SIR, PLEASE PRESS * * *, press what? UH, SIR, THERE'S AN OBVIOUS LANGUAGE BARRIER HERE, HAVE YOUR MANAGER CALL WHEN THEY GET IN, So you will call me back? UH, NO, HAVE YOUR MANAGER CALL US, so...you will call back in 30 minutes, UH, NO SIR, (SAID REAL LOUDLY, H-A-V-E YOUR MANAGER CALL IN), you call me back...(caller hung up eventually).

The monitor?

The computer has a blue screen saying the computer has been shut down to prevent damage...OKAY, I NEED YOU TO TURN OFF THE COMPUTER BY HOLDING THE BUTTON FOR 10 SECONDS, on the monitor? NO, THE COMPUTER TOWER. Press and hold it? UH, YES. okay. DOH!

Blank Screen.

WHAT'S SHOWING ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN RIGHT NOW? It doesn't show anything. IT'S BLANK? Yes. WHAT COLOR IS THE SCREEN? Blue, with numbers. SO IT'S NOT BLANK, IT'S A BLUE SCREEN WITH AN ERROR CODE? Yes...just fix it; it not working. OKAY.

Number required.

CAN I GET YOUR EMPLOYEE ID NUMBER?, yeah, C as in Alphabet...I'M SORRY, WHAT?, oh I mean C as in Cat...UH, I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND, IT SHOULD BE A NUMBER...oh, I'll call back.

Not working.

It not working, WHAT'S NOT WORKING? Nothing works. WHAT DOESN'T WORK? Credit, debit, and my orders won't go. YES, WE'RE AWARE OF THAT; AS WE ADVISED YOU, THE NETWORK IS DOWN, NONE OF THOSE SERVICES WILL WORK WITHOUT THE NETWORK. How long to fix, we need donuts tomorrow.

Disaster Desk.

You the disaster desk, WE'RE THE WHAT?, you killed my computer, WE DID WHAT?, it not working, WHAT'S NOT WORKING?, my store is down...I'M SORRY, WHAT NOW? You listening? I say computer froze? OH, YOU HAD A SOFTWARE UPDATE LAST NIGHT AND YOUR COMPUTER IS DOWN? yes, you the disaster desk. OKAY...

Off the machine.

I off the machine, YOU DID WHAT? Not working, I off the machine, UH, WHAT'S NOT WORKING, AND WHAT DID YOU TURN OFF? Computer. (I HOPE THIS GUY DIDN'T JUST SHOOT HIS COMPUTER)...

Please power cycle...

I NEED YOU TO TURN OFF THE COMPUTER IN THE BACK OFFICE BY HOLDING IN THE POWER BUTTON. Okay, I've done it. UH, WHAT IS THAT BEEPING SOUND? I turned off the battery under the counter. UH, SIR, THAT'S YOUR BATTERY BACKUP FOR THE REGISTERS, NOT YOUR COMPUTER...YOUR TOWER IS IN THE BACK OFFICE. Silence...